ARJUN'S POV :

After listening to her guilt washed over me. I felt like someone dumped a bucket of cold water on me. I am blameworthy and culpable. Anger blinded me to notice her pain.

When she said ‘ you're no different from my family ‘ they may be the mere words of frustration but they held the depth of her past. Now that comparison is heavy on my heart after knowing what she went through.

I wish to rewind the past and slaughter the reasons for her misery. I feel like carnaging her family members for treating her this way and giving her a traumatic past.

But you're not less than them Arjun. Even though you didn't try to comprehend her pain, instead you questioned her. It's you who triggered her to pass out. My mind mocked me.

“ Manvika, I am regretting every word I spoke. I can't change it but I am repetencing it. Never I would be pointing you out. Please forgive me.” She deserves everything after what she has been through. I should be the one apologizing to her not just sorry but correcting my blunder.

“ You don't have to feel contrite about it. Anyone in your place would react the same way as you. I know your intentions behind your anger.” She is quite mature to think that way.

“ Are you mad at me?” I couldn't stop myself from asking. She can fight with me, can do anything but cannot leave me.

“ Why would I be? You are unaware of the reasons. I was full of myself to ignore your feelings that moment. I should be the one who is apologizing.” She is not at fault but she is sorry. Shaking my head I kissed her forehead and made her lay comfortably, covered with a duvet.

“Manvika, promise me one thing, never hesitate to use my money , no our money. It is your right as my wife. Whatever belongs to me is rightfully yours. Act like you own me.” I want to assure her and she has to claim her rights.

“ I can't do that. Maybe in the future I may. I need some time to adjust to new changes.” She said by loosening the hold on my hand.

Soon she drosed into sleep, her breath became even. I adjusted myself beside her and cuddled her. The moment she passed out I was scared to hell. I have never seen her in a vulnerable state. Her palms were sweating badly and her body was cold. Her lovely face turned pale and expressionless.

I was scared of losing her. Never in my life I am going to question her because she might be having her reasons. I can't even imagine what a 15 year teenage Manvika might have gone through.

I have been rightfully claiming my rights on Papa's money using them like water. Never papa or maa restricted me. But what she might be feeling makes me restless.

I promise you my wife I will take revenge for you, never question you, make you feel like the luckiest woman ever.

I am still suspicious there is more than what she is saying. Her words hold the depth of unknown pain. I will wait until she is ready to share.

✧✧✧

I am glad that things cleared between us. He is right in his place and I am at mine. Now I understand the importance of communication. I felt he needed to know the reason further not to create any misunderstandings.

I hate myself for getting panic attacks. I am working on myself not to fall weak and overcoming it. Even mitigating the use of antidepressants.

But the instincts got active, when he raised voice suddenly the bitter memories of maa tormenting me engulfed me. I felt it would all happen again.

I woke up feeling a terrible headache. Feeling heavy, I can't skip college. Boosting myself, I got ready for college. He is already awake. Maybe downstairs preparing breakfast.

I have no interest in eating. He handed me coffee. Arranging plates on the dining table.

“ How are you feeling? Are you ok? You can skip college if you are not well.” He is back to caring husband mode.

“ I am feeling better, just a headache. I can't skip college.” I answered all his queries. He came near me and kept the back of his hand on my forehead to check the temperature.

“ We will visit the doctor once. And you are not going to college. What if you fall weak there? No, I can't take risks.” Why is he panicking? It's just a headache because I didn't eat last night.

“ARJUN calm down. I am ok, completely fine. I can't skip college.”I raised my voice to calm him. He is worrying too much. Maybe my panic attack scared the sh*t out of him.

We both had breakfast. He dropped me at college. And again tried to start his continuous rants.

“ I remember, take care of yourself, Don't skip lunch, if I don't feel well call you, don't strain yourself, reply to your messages to update you, as usual you will pick me up blah blah.” I blurted everything to him which he repeated since morning.

He gave me a side eye and drove off. I was walking towards my class from the parking lot and my sight fell on Neha. She is watching us.

“Neha, “ I tried to call her. She ignored me, started to go away. I tagged her.

Same moment, the idiot of the decade Rahul crossed our path. I was calm until he decided to mess with me.

“Seems like someone who is acting b*tchy and poke their nose in others matter has got stitches to their mouth. By the way, Neha silence suits you.” that's it the last string of my forbearance broke.

“ RAHUL please don't elaborate more about yourself. It is disgusting. Dare you say a single word about Neha. And kindly don't poke your nose in our matters. If it continues I may even complain against you.” I frustratedly yelled at Rahul. He is the actual one b*tching around.

Neha was shocked by my outburst and gave a smirk to Rahul.

“Whoa whoa calm down Manvika. I am just kidding. Like a senior -junior. Nothing serious.” He was getting his teeth but facading normal look.

“Don't ever joke around. We are not that open minded to take it normal. I am serious about it.” I warned him. It's the first time I raised my voice against a senior. I didn't hesitate to retord him. It's about my best friend after all.

Neha glared at Rahul and walked to her class. I am following her but she is ignoring me. Her anger is justified.

The day went on with continuous lectures, Arjun texted me whether I had lunch or not,assisting Rahul in college fest. He behaved more than normally like we didn't argue in the morning. Even I acted the same way.

It's finally evening, time to leave for home. I felt tired and felt like my bones were breaking apart. Arjun came to pick me up. When I settled in he passed me a strawberry smoothie.

“ I badly needed one. How do you know?” I asked by sipping the smoothie.

“ You know it's husband's instinct. I can read your mind.” Everything became normal between us. He became more considerate and benevolent.

We returned home and I went to change. I discovered the culprit of my mood swings. I got my periods. So this is the reason for my outburst and terrible body aches, mood swings.

I cleaned myself and came down to prepare coffee for us. The cramps are getting horrible. I passed coffee to him.

“ Tum theek ho.”(Are you fine?)

“ I am fine. What do you want for dinner?” I enquired about him.

“ We take out orders. You are not looking fine.” He suggested but denied it. I like homemade food and don't want anything unhealthy for him.

I prepared dinner and served him. I am not feeling like eating. I feel nauseated during periods. After a lot of assurance he agreed to leave me. If I feel hungry in the middle of the night, wake him.

The pain in my back and legs is getting worse. With uneasiness I went to lay, he joined me. Soon he dozed off.

✧⁠✧✧

Due to the tiredness soon sleep took over. I don't know the reason why she is so pale and worn out. But there is an unknown glow on her face unlike every time.

She skipped her dinner too. When I stirred in the sleep and stretched my hand on her side of the bed it's empty.

I opened my eyes to look but she was not there. All my sleep flew into the air. I got down from the bed. Maybe she is using the washroom. But it's bolted. I have looked in the closet, around the room. There is no sign of her.

The room door was open. I went to look for her. What caught my attention was dim lights in the living room, slow sobs were heard.

I moved my legs downstairs. My heart felt heavy looking at her. She is lying on the couch, curling herself into a ball by keeping a small cushion on her stomach. Her knees were touching her chest and dipping her face low. She was sobbing.

Right the moment I felt like murdering the reason for her crying. She is clutching the cushion tightly with her one hand and the other one on the couch fisted.

I took slow steps not to startle her.

“Manvi, baby what happened? Why are you crying?” I asked slowly, sitting near her legs ruffling her hair.

She lifted her tear stained face and looked at me with a painful expression. She shakes her head in a no. I inhaled and cupped her face.

“ Baby look at me. You know right I can't see you in pain. Tell me what's bothering you.” I cooed her.

“ My stomach, back and legs are terribly aching. It's intolerable. “ She sobbed more. I hugged her to calm her. She gave in.

Suddenly she winced by clutching her abdomen and left a painful sob. I got a slight idea of her condition.

“Baby are you menstruating? “ She nodded. Oh god she could have told me before.

“Baby you could have told me and woke me up. I am your husband, it's nothing to feel shameful.” I made her understand. She sucked on her lower lip and lowered her head.

I straightened and lifted her in my arms. She resisted but I glared at her not to do that. She rested her face on the crook of my neck and circled her hands around my neck.

We came back to the room and placed her on bed. She is still clutching her stomach. I turned my steps towards the kitchen.

“Kaha Jaa rahe hai aap” ( where are you going?)

She questioned by looking at me. I ignored her and walked. I searched for a water bag and heated water. I remembered she didn't have dinner so I prepared hot chocolate which would make her feel good.

Took them back to our room and passed the hot chocolate to her. And placed a water bag on her stomach. And I gave a pain killer because I can understand the intensity of the pain by looking at her face.

She faltered, after she completed I made her lay straight. Took out warmed oil and lifted her top up to her waist.

“What are you doing?” She questioned me by raising her brows.

“ It gives relief. Silently lay down.”

Slightly lowered her pants up to her abdomen. Started to massage slowly in circles and soothingly. When my fingers brushed above her south she let out a breathy moan.

The thought of my hand inches away from her core made me hard. You pervert,your wife is in pain, you're thinking about doing things. My mind teased.

I looked at her face which was all calm with tear stained cheeks and parted lips. I evenly massaged her back and legs.

If she is awakened will never allow me to touch her legs. Her face is like peace after Storm. She is relaxed and breathes even. This gave ease.

I washed my hands and laid beside her. Shifted her head on my bicep and circled her waist to cuddle. She stirred but adjusted to my touch. I pecked her forehead when she was my baby bear.

Night went long. Her relief gave me peace. I mentally ordered ice cream, chocolates and other things for her.

Every month they bleed but never complain about the pain and fulfill their responsibilities. Giving comfort, Little love, affection and care is the minimum we can do.

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